rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm at about main and main street
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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