I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
