3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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