We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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