She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
