I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
