i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
