guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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