you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
