Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
