Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
