10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
