next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
