Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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