I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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