Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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