how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
