Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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