You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
