I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
