How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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