So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
