Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
