she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
