dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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