i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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