I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
