i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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