I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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