trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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