He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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