He passed out mid-signature
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
