I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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