Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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