i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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