shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Congratulations! We have a period
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
