I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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