I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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