I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
