It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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