Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This is the high leading the old right now
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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