Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
