I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
