No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I skipped work to stalk him.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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