i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
