Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
