wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
