wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
