Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
