what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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