i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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