just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
is it fun? or sober?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
