I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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