your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
