He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
