dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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