i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
