drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
