Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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