I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
