I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
