hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
