you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
