I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
