come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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